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Pa(near me border) no luck in 6 months, should we lost our house BEFORE we buy?

So I've had 2 diff realtors now. Both have me put looking at houses, and we've had 10+ deals fall thru. The market is hell here, every house has a minimum of 10 doff offers, and there aren't that many houses available to even look at. Without having ours listed, we have a contengecy, but my realtor doesn't tell anyone that, she's hoping to get my house listed a week after I win an offer, and get it sold. BUT, in every instance, we have to offer OVER asking on every single house, with possibly cash on top of that, if appraisal comes in under. Then my realtor keeps saying my backup of the house doesn't sell is a program where the bank buys it for me, and I buy it from the bank, and pay a fee. I don't want to do any of these crazy deals. I just want to know, why can't I list my house to sell, with a contengecy to buy? Is that so bad? Then I would at least know how much money we are getting for our house, what we afford to get into, I don't understand why the realtors both didn't want to list the house first, before shopping around. As it is, every house we like, we get outbid, every single time. There are no houses here that sell at asking price. I'm at a loss at this point. I NEED to get out of my house ASAP, but it feels like a fools errand to keep doing it this way, trying to buy before we even sell, and having to have all these expensive backup scenarios Incase our house DOESN'T sell.

submitted by /u/frankenboobehs
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/comments/1nbprpw/panear_me_border_no_luck_in_6_months_should_we/
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