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Need buyer advice for an interesting financial situation

I'll try to keep this as short as I can:

Our family found our forever home after years of house hunting and we won the contract. We're 30 days out from closing.

For a couple of reasons, my pre-approval lender (Let's call him OG Lender) failed to catch an issue which disqualifies me from a qualifying mortgage (self employment under a year), so when I started shopping for loans, I started receiving rejections saying "Federal law prevents me from giving you a qualifying mortgage until you've been self employed for at least a year."

This made me panic a little since I had issues getting a loan for my current house, so I start 10-15 applications with anyone who'd talk to me.

I've got another complication with my financing in that most of my bank funds aren't seasoned and don't have a complete paper trail (nothing illegal or shady). I've been rejected several times because of this as well.

My options are very limited for getting a loan right now.

On top of this, the listing agent has said that the buyer has a backup cash offer for $25K over the contracted value. Obviously I can't verify this, but I wouldn't be surprised -- the property is incredible.

OG Lender has a non-QM program which they entered me into and were able to secure a loan for me. I went into underwriting a few days ago.

OG Lender finally gets back to me and says I have conditional approval and orders an appraisal for me without my knowledge. I'm still shopping at this point, so I don't want to have to pay for multiple appraisals.

When I discovered the appraisal was ordered, I asked him to first check if it had been scheduled, and ONLY if it hadn't been scheduled yet, please cancel it until I make my decision. Of course, the day after my request, the listing agent calls my agent and says "WTF is going on, why'd you cancel the appraisal? Is everything OK over there?"

My agent calls them back and smooths it over. Whoops.

I receive two more loan estimates. One is very competitive (Lender name: New Lender). I ask New Lender to change a couple of things on the estimate and he says "Sure, I can have that back to you sometime next week." I'm tired of screwing around with this stuff, I have a job and kids and I want to start my holiday weekend. I say screw it, call up OG Lender, show him the original estimate from New Lender, ask if he can do any better. OG Lender says the other lender is an idiot, stick with OG Lender. I say OK fine, go for it, order the appraisal, I want to be finished with this crap. I'm done, ready to start my weekend and packing my stuff for the move.

New Lender gets back to me in under an hour and sends a loan estimate which is far better than OG Lender's. Lower rate, lower fees, zero points, savings of over $15K. Instant regret.

I call up OG Lender and he's pissed. Says he's tired of going back and forth, that I'm being unethical for having multiple apps in progress, blah blah. So I cave again and say no worries, just go with it. At this point I'm worried about losing my damn loan and pushing my luck too far.

I can't help but keep thinking about that $15K in savings. My loan application with New Lender is currently going through underwriting, which is important because of my weird financial situation. If it comes back with a green light, I am not sure what to do.

In addition to this, I will be refinancing into a qualifying mortgage within a year since my self-employment will meet the limit in a few months. I mostly care about up-front loan costs for this reason.

So I'm trying to find a way to make this work and keep this sensitive contract on the rails. Another cancelled appraisal will almost certainly raise a red flag. I'm thinking that if New Lender gives me the green light, I can simply pay for the second appraisal on top of the first one from OG Lender, and then cancel the loan with OG Lender. New Lender said that ordering two appraisals means that a third one may also need to be ordered for the tie breaker, so that'd mean three total appraisals!

OG Lender has been very patient with me and very creative in trying to solve for my situation. I really appreciate how much they've been willing to work with me. But ordering the appraisal without my say-so really miffed me, and there are a few other behaviors that I feel were pushy and salesy that annoyed me. That being said, $15K is nothing to sneeze at -- that could pay for some significant improvements on the house.

My agent, of course, thinks I should sit tight and not give the seller any reason to go poking around. I'm just disappointed that after two weeks of stress, I made a stupid, expensive mistake after obsessing about every detail of every loan.

What should I do? Push my luck for $15K, or suck it up? Is there a tactic or opportunity that I'm not thinking of?

submitted by /u/NoFriendship3221
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/comments/13sy5fk/need_buyer_advice_for_an_interesting_financial/

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