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Am I being insane spending this much in VHCOL area? Or is this just what it is?

Relocating cross country to a VHCOL area for a new job, my wife and I were informed one of our friends in the area has a neighbor with a home coming up soon. This house looks beautiful, my friend has been in it numerous times and says he knows how much work the guy put in bringing it up to this state. It's in the exact area we want to live with great schools and safe neighborhoods. The neighbor is interested in a direct sale so he doesn't have to deal with open houses and such. They already have had it pre inspected with no issues and are willing to share the report if we go under contract.

That said, it also would be 4500/mo for me, twice what im currently paying on my house. My wife and I will be making 210kish (not counting my bonus) so mathematically we will be fine, but it still seems insane to throw so much at a house. There are other areas nearby we could get in at 3.5k, but the schools aren't near as good, or crime is higher.

Is this a case where I shouldn't overthink our good fortune and buy it? We intend to never move from this house. We have multiple friends in the area. Multiple job prospects were something to go wrong.

submitted by /u/Faustus2425
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/comments/wy7d5j/am_i_being_insane_spending_this_much_in_vhcol/
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