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$395k or $230k house, 3.5% down-payment can we afford

HCOL area, combined base salary for my wife and l of $140k + 40k in bonus . l work in sales. We have no other debt other than $120k in student loan debt and 2 credit cards with 6% utilization . Both cars are paid off We have 2 options by a townhouse or a SFH. The SFH is priced at $395K and would fit what we are looking for short and long term. The townhouse is not feasible past 2 years as we have 3 kids. But we could buy it and sell it in a year and half allowing us to pay down our student loan debt , put more towards retirement. l am worried about overextending ourself and not putting away enough for retirement and dealing with unexpected maintenance. My wife's car has been giving her issues and we probably need to buy her a new car in a year.. The only other major expense is our homeowner, life, auto and umbrella policy and student loans. All together that's $850 a month + $750 utilities + $800 for groceries + $300 in gas. Any advice appreciated

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/comments/pdwek3/395k_or_230k_house_35_downpayment_can_we_afford/

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