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Can’t help but think I messed up.

I put down money in October for a new build, costing 800k. Was gonna sell my current house for 390k, making 220k after closing costs.

A week before breaking ground, I got really bad cold feet. I mean, really bad. I am self employed, and I worried about business and how it would be moving forward. We were fine through the pandemic, but for some reason I was just so scared. I mean, scared shitless scared. Probably had a mental breakdown. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, drinking. I lost 10lbs in 3 weeks. I kept going back and forth on what to do. Was I making enough money to afford this house?? Right now I could afford it. But I was terrified of the future. My mind was in shambles.

After moving in, I was anticipating my savings being low. I wasn’t comfortable with that. I don’t have retirement or investments.

I ended up backing out of the house and lost earnest money.

Now I go on the builders website and hate myself.

And now my wife really hates me. I broke her heart. That was supposed to be our house. I feel I really messed up. Location was great in a cup de sac, nice yard (only gripe was Turnpike quarter mile behind house) F%#!!! This was our way of progressing in life, but instead I regressed. She keeps mentioning the address and how that was hers. Dammit. Will I get another chance like this again?? Will it even matter? My wife hates me.

Not sure why I’m posting this. I guess to get it off my chest. Should probably xpost this to r/relationship_advice

submitted by /u/throwawayshko
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/comments/luyruw/cant_help_but_think_i_messed_up/
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