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So confused. Please help

My wife and I began searching for a home in the fall. We quickly got our pre-approval and certificate of eligibility from the VA. We found the home that we had dreamed of at the beginning of November. (We live in a rural area where everyone is familiar with one another). Our realtor is a long-time friend of mine and was brutally honest throughout the duration of the process. He mentioned that the selling agent told him numerous times that it was a waste to show the house because according to her "it will never pass a VA appraisal". Our realtor encouraged to move forward only if it was the home that we wanted and that if not, we could continue looking. We made our offer which was quickly accepted and signed a contract on the 15th of November. The only modification to the contract was the seller/selling agent requesting that the negotiation period be cut from 10 days to 5. We happily agreed as we were eager to own our (hopefully) forever home. My deposits were made and our inspection was completed within a week. Our only requests were small things with the exception of two bathrooms being repaired that were completely inoperable, yet was never disclosed by the selling agent or the advertisements. They promptly agreed to our terms and the VA appraisal was ordered. The appraisal was returned on the 15th of December. The value came in exactly where it needed to be and the repairs required for the VA loan totaled at most $2k, of which were the same repairs that I requested to be made after my inspection.

Flash forward to the week of our estimated closing date of January 15th.

We scheduled a meeting with the selling realtor at the home to see if there was anything that still needed to be completed. The selling realtor did not show, but the owner of the home did come and speak to us and let us know that she didn't really know what to do or where to start. No repairs had been completed whatsoever. I confided in my realtor about my disappointment. We did buy down our interest rate to 2.5% and every extension to our closing date saw our cost to close rising. Having knowledge of the selling realtor, he disclosed that she had other offers on the table and didn't seem eager to complete our transaction. I cannot say for certain, but I am assuming at least one of those offers includes her as the dual agent. My realtor contacted the selling realtor and made mention of her not showing up and that we were supposed to close in five days.

Things progressed and all necessary repairs were completed in less than a week. This brings us to this week. The only thing to our knowledge remaining was receiving the final appraisal inspection. It was then that we were notified that there was an issue with the drain field that unexpectedly had to be repaired. This was known for over two weeks, but no one from the selling side made us aware of this. In an attempt to figure out what was going on, I contacted the septic company ran by a friend of mine. He stated that he has been waiting for nearly two weeks just to be told when and where to put the new drain field. At this point I am furious. I contacted my title company to speak with them regarding moving the closing date from our now scheduled date of February 1st. It was at this time in which the title agent let me know that the selling realtor had told her to not complete any title searches because the deal was "going to fall through, anyway". This event occurred only two weeks ago as well. (She forwarded the email to me regarding her comment).

Here we are with no set closing date, closing costs growing, a lease that expires on Sunday, and me leaving with the army in the middle of February, leaving my wife and two young children home to handle this mess. What can I do? What should I do? Is this normal? Am I being irrational?

Quick side note, my client care specialist that has been handling my loan, has cc'ed me on all communications that he has had, just so that I was always in the loop. In every single communication between him and the selling realtor, I was removed by her.

Edit: I apologize for being so long-winded while also being new to reddit. I wanted to paint the whole picture. My wife suggested posting our situation here, because, well, you guys and gals are a lot smarter than I am.

submitted by /u/reconbyfire19
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/comments/l7gnf4/so_confused_please_help/

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